Direct Cremation & Memorials

You may have seen increasing TV and social media advertisements about Direct Cremation. Essentially Direct Cremation is an unattended cremation,  where the body of the deceased is collected from a hospital or holding place, transported to the Crematorium, and cremated without a Funeral Service or any of the elements associated with a traditional Funeral. While Direct Cremation may be the right choice for some, as with everything in life, they can have a shadow side and will not be the right choice for others, so if you are considering a Direct Cremation for you or a loved one, its worth doing some research and considering all the options available to you and also the possible negative emotional fall out, so you can be sure you are making the right decision...

Pros

• Simple, quick and more affordable than a Funeral Service
• Easy to arrange
• When the deceased person has opted for a Direct Cremation themselves, some families may find comfort in knowing they have honoured their loved ones final wishes
• The cost saving can potentially allow families to use any money saved to arrange a Memorial Service at a later date that is more aligned to their wishes, budget and values.
• May be an appropriate choice for those who might not have a close emotional connection or bond with the deceased.

Cons

• For some, dispatching the physical remains of a family member or friend without any ceremony, tributes or blessings can feel impersonal
• The process does not afford families an opportunity to celebrate and remember the person in real time with the last physical part of that person - this can potentially lead to delayed or unresolved grief
• Removing the Funeral or Celebration of Life element of someone's final journey, can leave some families feeling robbed, or cheated from being able to honour their loved one, especially when the deceased themselves has opted for a Direct Cremation
• Families can be left locked in a limbo of grief

The loss of someone cherished leaves us reeling, it is completely understandable (even for those in a financial position to pay for a Funeral) that we would all want the process of arranging their final journey to be as simple as possible, especially given the invariably delicate and difficult decisions we may have to make following their death, let alone if there are any family politics or discord. For those families who may not want a traditional Funeral for themselves or a loved one, or were unable to attend the Funeral service of a loved one, where, for example the deceased had a Direct Cremation) a Memorial in the wake of a cremation or burial, can be wonderfully uplifting. 

Memorials, are essentially Celebrations of life conducted after the deceased person has been cremated or buried. They can be formal or relaxed, and you don’t have to hold them at a licensed venue. You can hold these in your own home or garden, your local pub, village hall or community centre, seated on a sandy beach, aboard a boat, in the middle of a forest, or even at the top of a mountain if you have the energy for the hike to get to the top, and you may not realise how much you will benefit emotionally from a service of this sort, until after the event. 

Reflective services like these allow us to gather in shared love, respect, and grief, to remember the people we cherish with warmth and pride, sharing our memories of them, reflecting on the life they shared, evoking a feeling of connection to them, even though they are no longer with us in person. There is no hierarchy in Grief and often, the ripple effect of someone’s death impacts so many people, casting long shadows. Gathering together can be profoundly supportive in helping move through grief and remember the people who have been part of our lives the way they deserve to be remembered - hopefully with smiles rather than tears.